I’m in that mood. You know, pointless stuff entertaining me mood.
So friend and I at the vending machine. I want candy. Which one to get? She picks 3 Musketeers. I say, f it, don’t care about it probably being the fattest one in there … I want the Reese’s cups.
They drop. We grab them. 3 Musketeers clearly states on front … 45% less fat. Umm, but did you know, that’s all they got!
In the spirit of thanksgiving, I thought I’d write a “thankful” blog. But that sounds kinda boring. So let’s mix it up a lil bit, but disguise it as thankful … deal?
I’m thankful that certain people have days off at work around the holidays and because of their absence the office is quiet and happy. Well as happy as it will get seeing as how I’m actually at work.
I’m thankful for texting. So that I don’t have to pick up the phone and actually talk to you when you call. Oh and by the way, texting while driving … you shouldn’t do. Umm, cuz I’m doing it, and one of us needs to be paying attention as we’re passing each other.
I’m thankful for friends that go to lunch with me even though they make me pay … just because they paid last time. Tssss, so selfish.
I’m thankful for being able to manipulate my friends into ordering my 2nd choice on the menu at lunch. I’m totally gonna eat some of yours. Thanks friend!
I’m thankful for alcohol. Even though you can’t drink it at work. What’s up with that?! Who, one day decided that this wasn’t a good activity to do while sitting around for 8 whole hours? And who was the stupid guy next to him that said, dude, good idea? Clearly … they were drunk.
I’m thankful for google, for allowing me to never have to think for myself. That’s all I got on that one.
Okay okay, I am capable of being sincere … here goes:
I’m thankful for my boys who are happy and healthy. Well, healthy … they complain too much to admit to being completely happy right? I’m thankful for Jared, for teaching me about what’s important in life. I’m thankful for the one I spend all of my time with. I’m thankful we laugh. I’m thankful we’re awesome friends. I’m super thankful he puts up with me. I’m thankful for good friends who listen to me complain daily. Thanks for telling me when to shut up.
I have a neighbor. Across the street. He is the head of the homeowners association. Just the person you want to live across from right? Umm, no, in case you didn't know the answer to that one.
So James and friend playing catch outside with the football yesterday. He comes in. Mom, the guy across the street said I can’t play football in the street. Umm what? Yeah, he said I should stay on my lawn, and that I’ll hit cars and property if I play in the street. Umm, yeah, you can play in the street James. Then he told me the guy said he was going to come over and talk to me. Fun, thanks James.
Knock at door.
(he started this ALL wrong and you’re never going to get my cooperation coming at me like this):
I need your cooperation in keeping your children out of the street.
Me: (just making sure before I start a fight) Is there something with the association that says they need to stay out of the street?
(him not answering my question) I think it would be best if they stayed on your property.
Me: (again) Yeah, is there something that says they need to stay out of the street?
(him getting angry) They are going to hit something, they’ve already hit a tree (me, trying not to laugh, but failing), and they might hit a car or property.
Me: Yeah okay, I will tell them to be careful.
I think it would be best if they played in the lot down the street.
Me: Yeah, it probably is a better idea, but I’m not going to keep them out of the street, they’re kids.
(him, stumbling on words) If they hit something, I’m going to send you the bill.
Me: Yeah okay, I would expect that.
If the ball lands on my property, I’m going to call the police.
Me: (the laughter is no longer contained) Umm, yeah, let me know when you call them for a ball landing on your lawn, I want to watch when they get here.
He left.
THEN, James comes in a says dude is taking pictures of them.
I’m not going to go out and fight, but please note, grown man across street talking pictures of my children.
PLEASE call the police about a ball on your lawn, so that I can alert them to inappropriate pictures you are taking of young boys.
PLEASE.
So that’s that. James has made an enemy, which in turn means I made an enemy ... the homeowners association president. ugh. This should make life more fun in my neighborhood right? Thanks James on that one.
Don’t talk crap to my kid about playing. Umm, about anything. And even if he did something wrong, which he clearly did not … if you come at me like that, I will defend him always, and you will get no apologies. I will deal with him later.
Thoughts? I did right? Or I should have been nicer (which is usually the case)?